What makes you happy? What are the top 5 things?
My husband asked me this question out of the blue, yesterday late afternoon. I was positively taken aback. Loads of thoughts began swirling within a few seconds it took for the question to register. One after another and sometimes in a blur of commotion my brain started throwing name plaques up in the air for me to identify and acknowledge. But apart from a couple of things, there were no clear front-runners that I could decide on straightway. By late evening, I may have conveyed some abstract answers that he may or may not have paid attention to 😛
His reasons for these specific questions are best known to him. He is a funny man. The conversation on a call that lasted for a minute went like this.
M – “Hi sexy”
S – “Hey. So I have a question for you”
M – “Hmm. Shoot.”
S – “What makes you happy? What are the top five things?”
M- (Eyebrows disappearing into hair & few seconds of amused silence) “Why?”
S – “It doesn’t have to immediately answered but doesn’t have to be brooded over.”
M – (With piqued curiosity and neurons firing in brain) “But why would you want to know suddenly?”
S – “So, think about it in the cab back home. I should have the answers by the time you reach home.”
M – (Chuckling) “You have to tell me why, only then I will think about this”
S- “Hmmph. It’s for a project”
M – Gets reminded of another project where he has asked acquaintances questions like this “What’s it called?”
S – “It’s called love project. Bye now. Don’t forget to answer”
M- Gets off the phone laughing for a few seconds.
Side note: I have a sneaking suspicion that he is planning something for our 1st wedding anniversary.
But contrary to what he wanted me to do, I began pondering deeply about it. My thoughts got all muddled up and I couldn’t place the things that made me particularly happy. Thoughts like shopping, movies, food came up but I kept disproving them as soon as the word was fully formed in my awareness. I do enjoy these activities – but happiness just seems deeper.
I thought maybe I was taking the question too literally and he didn’t necessarily meant just “things”. This approach was a little better –memories with bits of faded edges like my mom’s smile, warm hugs and snippets of good conversations began to pop up in my mind’s eye. Yes, that seemed better.
There were times not long ago where I could go on and on about what made me happy – mentioning everything in detail. In fact I recall asking my husband the same question when we were dating a year and half back. He kept asking me to clarify what was the question aimed at and I kept wondering how could this question be so complicated to answer. I went back to the chat to understand that conversation (I searched the keywords on whatsapp, I am OCD like that).
The things that I told him made me happy then, stay true to date. They were easy simple things and also wind in my hair type cliché. But why didn’t these exact imagery come to me when I was looking for them, pondering over and over? What has changed or evolved? Maybe I was not in the correct frame of mind to answer this question? Or have I moved on from where I was that time ago?
I think happiness is deep, emotional state but also current. How you are placed in your life can mean you have a lot of things easily accessible that make you happy and therefore are being taken for granted.
I still actively seek out:-
- Reading – it’s one of the greatest pleasures of life!
- Conversations – Especially where it makes me think.
- Laughter – Oh! I love a good laugh any time of the day!
- Cleaning and Organizing – I can’t take a messy anything.
- Alone time – I get cranky otherwise.
Cheers to a husband who can make me think deeply about essentials in life-like – Happiness.
What does happiness mean to you?