Within her Heart

It was gloomy outside, rain pouring and pelting against the windows.

Inside, snuggled with some tea and a hug, it was sunny within her heart.


I Live to Fight Another Day

Some days are hard, some even harder while a few here and there not so much. This is not me complaining. This is just to remind myself that I have been struggling and it is completely okay. Because if truth be told, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am grateful for all the good things in my life. What I wish for is to be stronger, better, kinder and funnier. Everything else will iron out eventually. I wish for better and enriching experiences in life, to learn to be a good listener and some patience. I need to be able to accept that not all questions need answering, while some questions can never be answered. I need to learn to able to pick my battles.

I hope there was a switch that I could flick and put my mind at ease. Overthinking much? Yeah, that’s what I do best.

My reason to believe is at the end of the day – I have a tummy full of food, heart full of hope, eyes full of dreams and people who will always be at my side, no matter what. My reason to believe is that I am alive, well and I live to fight another day.

In response to Reason to Believe

A Work in Progress

Mess & I, we don’t get along. Clutter gives me a high – not the good kind. I go cranky and bonkers. I like my things organized and planned. Order drives me to do better things. Life of a Virgo I tell you.

At workstation in office, my desktop remains very organized even during the busiest times of the year with only the most used icons and work in progress folders tiled on the left hand side. On the right hand side sticks a sticky that has my notes and reminders. As soon as I am done with a certain project, that folder is dispatched into the fathoms of relevant year wise folders. I try and name all the content in the most relevant ways – even the jpegs. You won’t find numerous unnamed “New Folder” on my system, no sir.

One of the reasons behind this OCD is that my job (I am a Visual Merchandiser) requires me to be aware of the content I possess. My boss may suddenly be overcome by the desire to see images of a certain store’s window display during the onset of Spring Summer ’13. I need to be able to track the file in the time that it takes him to get up from his desk and saunter over to mine. And he saunters over quite quick mind you, or maybe that’s because our cubicles are stationed like 5 feet apart from each other 😛

At home however, it’s a slightly different story. Things here are still as clutter free as I possibly can manage. But there is always room for improvement. So, I am looking at my bedroom right now and there is one pile of worn clothes from this week near the bed. There are a couple of used water bottles and one humongous zip-pack of Indian snack on the floor. Wires of different diameters, belonging to various gadgets and their adapters have intertwined and snaked across the room to get to the power booster. What is left of the floor is occupied by – well nothing!* punches the air*Almost all the other objects are in their rightful places and that makes me happy.

But cometh the weekend, and one whole day will be devoted to cleaning and organizing my tiny 1 bed room rented apartment.

To better days of clutter free living! 🙂

Knowing you – Like we do

This is a crowded city. People come pouring out of everywhere – from nooks and crannies, one wouldn’t even imagine it was possible to navigate. There is a two way traffic everywhere you look. Both sides of all the streets are lined with shops – make shift type. People being driven in fancy cars and people driving on bicycles – both stop to make their purchases.

Amongst the milieu of people of all ages – there is a middle aged man. He is dressed immaculately, but nothing fancy – a crisp white shirt with black stripped trousers. That’s the official dress code of a lawyer in the apex court of the state capital. He looks like he is used to consistently working hard to get what he wants – harsh beating down sun, long queue and constant haggling doesn’t unfaze him. He wears rimless glasses and stares hard at the shopkeeper, without squinting or blinking. He doesn’t have to talk much to get a reasonable rate for the groceries he is picking. His face has very fine lines around his eyes, his hair shows signs of thinning and has a barely there paunch. A well maintained physical and cosmetic health for his age – his diet and well being has been looked after. He turns around when he is done and starts making his way back to where his vehicle is parked without wincing, shouting or elbowing anybody – polite and enduring.

The man is 52 and is father of two adult kids. His wife has been handling the marriage, home, finances as well as taking care of the in-laws and kids since the early age of 24. It was difficult at first but now things have settled down quite a bit. They have enough and just a bit more.

The man is my father. Even if I would have met him just today – I would have immense respect for him. He has a no-nonsense attitude but is courteous, straight forward but polite, tenacious – never shied away from struggle or hard work and is always thirsty for knowledge. His ability to strike conversations at random and make us all laugh is amazing. He became more a friend and a guide as my brother and I turned the corner to being adults.

He gets frustrated and impatient – oh yea, and we wouldn’t want to catch him on any of those days. But he is passionate, forgiving and understanding. He is my father.

“One Day, I want to honestly say – I made it”

Oh the Nostalgia! From dreaming to be a Doctor to being a Visual Merchandiser – my life is not what I wanted it to be. But it’s better. It has its ups and down. But it is perfect in its imperfection. There is no dearth of things that I want to come together for future. But as I write this, right at this second, I am happy.

Back when I was a kid, I wanted to study to become a Doctor. My grandmother used to be unwell often. Doctors failed to give an accurate diagnostic on what was really going on with her. I watched my mum get frustrated and upset over how much Grandma was suffering day in and day out.  That’s when little me decided that I would grow up to be doctor and treat granny of whatever was ailing her.

Things took a different turn and I didn’t even realise. I made the cut for NIFT entrance exams and graduated four years later with a degree and job offer in hand. Meanwhile, my grandma got better and my mum accepted the fact that with her age she is bound to get sick at times.

My current profession is as far removed from being a doctor as it can possibly be. Hopefully it’s all for the better.

“One Day, I want to honestly say – I made it”

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Futures Past.”

Everyone has their own Story

Everybody has a story. There is comedy, some romance, some drama, a couple of mysteries and a few tragedies. No two stories are the same.

I would like to be an audience to every single story that world has to offer – learn from  them and imbibe the positives. The back stories always make for awesome narrations, giving the reader in depth view into the person’s life and his/her journey.

From my parents to my favorite Biology teacher, my best friend from school to my colleagues, my next door neighbor to somebody I met on a journey, from the great warrior Abhimanyu to the great archer Karna, from Dhyan Chand to Sachin Tendulkar, from Albus Severus Potter to Luna Lovegood – everybody has a story worth telling.

And I am all for stories – they have a life of their own.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fireside Chat.”

Music, Wardrobe and Subway Surfer

There was a time, when waking up hours before the crack of dawn was no big deal for me. But that was when I was in school and something like snooze didn’t exist in my vocabulary. I absolutely had to, without fail, cram two – three hours of school work/study before I hurried off to get dressed for school.

Come 2015 – hurrying off to get dressed part hasn’t changed much. But everything else has – sadly! There are still those days when I get up alert like a fox and wide awake. But there are also those days when even a cold shower can’t seem to rev up my engine.

There just isn’t enough time in the mornings to indulge in any leisure activity – I just scrape along doing the bare essentials. But there a few activities that if I manage can set the tone right for rest of day.

Some good old music – When I wake up with all my wits about me, I just turn to my side and plug my phone into the speakers to enjoy some tracks from my playlist. It definitely makes me feel better and gear up for the day.

Throw all the curtains open – The room feels lighter and fresher when some cold morning air streams through the room, even if there is just a hint of the sun.

Hanging out the laundry to dry – If I can achieve this in the morning, I feel a sense of accomplishment like no other. It is a major chore for me that I would rather skip. Weird, you say?

Plan what to wear – I mean actually plan what to wear, and not just random groping into the wardrobe for some decent looking top and a pair of denims.

Subway Surfers – If time permits, I manage a couple of runs with the famous thieves down the subway tracks. Something about a feeling of accomplishment.

Yeah. So that’s all I can manage, aside from gulping down a few morsels of breakfast and getting myself to work on time.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Two Right Feet.”

Caught Imagining!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Under the Snow.”

Oh, I get scarred easily. Being caught in an avalanche, with only my thoughts for company, sounds more than just dangerous. But one has to get by.

To keep up my courage, I would like my over – imaginative brain to bring it down a notch. If that can happen, I will definitely feel more relaxed, relatively speaking. The timeline of memories, unfolding one by one will bring me smiles. Thoughts of loved ones and friends will keep the fire in me stoked. All the unchecked items in my bucket list will get another impetus of life. The unfulfilled dreams and incomplete goals will urge me to keep fighting.

And fight I will, until my last breath or till I am rescued whichever is quicker 😛

I have a lot to be thankful for

Thankful for? Let’s see. This should be interesting.

First and foremost – My parents. Thank you for having me. No seriously – you guys were quiet young when mom conceived. No matter how many times I say it, it’s never going to be enough. Cliché – you guys are the pillars that I lean on in times of duress. I have put you through a lot. But both of you have always been there for me, undeterred.

Dear god – Thanks. I wish for a lot of things and sometimes don’t say thanks enough times. But don’t take it to your heart, alright? I hereby thank you for everything. I do have a lot to be grateful for and at the same time, could use a bit more of your attention.

Then there are those innumerable close, distant and extremely far-flung family members. Those visits, sweets and keen interest in my past, present and future has me where I am today. My childhood, though difficult would not have been the same without you guys around. I am always bubbling with memories of all sorts when somebody strings the topic called “Childhood”. So yeah, thank you.

Friends. Childhood, schoolmates, college gang and a few colleagues. Thank You.

Thanks to the stranger – who smiled or smiled back when our eyes met while walking. To the one who held a door open for me when he saw me clamber in with my hands full. To the stranger in the car who waited for me to cross the road. To the stranger who stood unwearyingly behind me while I attempted to withdraw cash using a wrong PIN. To so many others who still believe in humanity.

And last but not the least – to the person or circumstance who introduced me to reading. I mean real reading. I will be forever grateful.

Never Too Late

Sorting Out in..10, 9 , 8…

No two days have been the same for me. There have been medium highs and extreme lows. All seemed lost yet here I am, alive (in body and spirit) to fight another day.

I am far from sorted. But thankfully not messed up. It’s one of those phases – where everything seems out of your control and you are like an outsider – watching your life unfold of its own accord in front of your eyes. I have found myself wishing and quite fervently at that – for some Angel to drop from the sky and sort all my problems.

I have a couple of people in my life who are my saviours. I can depend on them for the right suggestions. They are never judgemental or biased. And so – all is never lost. There’s always hope – right around the corner. We just have to walk those few steps and claim it as our own.

Inspired by Daily Prompt

Calling a Spade – a Spade!

One day, many months ago, I read something that I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t intentional. It was a chat between two of my close friends. They had quite a few mean things to say about me and a close friend of mine. My heart broke. I had never in my wildest dreams thought that they were capable of being so mean, judgemental and hypocritical, when they were always so sweet and supportive on my face. The incident manifested a drastically different face of their personalities to me.

Crestfallen, I discussed this incident with the two people closest to me. Let’s call them S and M for simplicity’s sake. S always has this knack of giving just the right advice. He never says something that will just make you feel better. He believes in calling a spade a spade. S weighs the situation and says things that always make perfect sense, without beating about the bush. He is the truest friend. M could very well be an emotional counsellor. She will comfort you, and then lay down the facts before you. These facts will make you see your mistakes and at the same time make you feel better.

S’s first reaction was “Why the hell did you go through the chat? Why did you open it in the first place?” After listening to my explanation of why I was wandering into somebody else’s account, he said “Never go looking for things that somebody hasn’t shown/told you willingly. If it is meant for you, you’ll hear about it”. In my defence, I always respect other’s privacy as I expect them to respect mine.

M heard me out, patiently. She said, “They are people like that. They have various opinions of a person and her situations. One is for her eyes/ears and the others are saved so that they can gossip and make fun later. It doesn’t categorise them as good or bad. Don’t judge them. The best you can do is avoid being besties and gradually move away.”

The incident has changed me – in a small way but it has. I have grown up. I have realised that people won’t treat you nicely because you treat them in that way. There are all sorts of people who you will have to share time with in the journey called Life. It’s on you to choose how to let them affect you.

Inspired by Daily Prompt

Off the Shelf – Into Hogwarts!

I love reading. No particular genre. Just books. Even when I was little, I used to gorge on all chapters from my English & Hindi literature text books within a day of buying them for new session. It probably has to do with the fact that stories build a little world of their own around the reader. With an active imagination, I live with the characters, feel their happiness and fall in love with the narration.

Currently, I am obsessed with Mythology. Indian & Greek. My roommate & I take turns at reading books that we buy online or at bookstores. We scourge the stores for best deals, across all possible platforms. It is engrossing to read about Lifestyle, Culture, beliefs, situations, conflicts and conversations that our ancestors might have had.

While quite a great deal of books lie unread in my bookcase, what I keep returning to, is the Harry Potter series. Once every little while, I feel the urge to pick any one of seven books, arbitrarily and immerse myself in the wizarding world that J.K Rowling has so successfully weaved. Their magic has never failed to attract me. And I never get bored with imagining an exasperated Hermione, grinning Harry & Ron.

I plan to introduce my kids to Harry Potter books as soon as they are old enough to comprehend the concept of good and evil, friendship and courage.

Inspired by Daily Prompt