One day, many months ago, I read something that I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t intentional. It was a chat between two of my close friends. They had quite a few mean things to say about me and a close friend of mine. My heart broke. I had never in my wildest dreams thought that they were capable of being so mean, judgemental and hypocritical, when they were always so sweet and supportive on my face. The incident manifested a drastically different face of their personalities to me.
Crestfallen, I discussed this incident with the two people closest to me. Let’s call them S and M for simplicity’s sake. S always has this knack of giving just the right advice. He never says something that will just make you feel better. He believes in calling a spade a spade. S weighs the situation and says things that always make perfect sense, without beating about the bush. He is the truest friend. M could very well be an emotional counsellor. She will comfort you, and then lay down the facts before you. These facts will make you see your mistakes and at the same time make you feel better.
S’s first reaction was “Why the hell did you go through the chat? Why did you open it in the first place?” After listening to my explanation of why I was wandering into somebody else’s account, he said “Never go looking for things that somebody hasn’t shown/told you willingly. If it is meant for you, you’ll hear about it”. In my defence, I always respect other’s privacy as I expect them to respect mine.
M heard me out, patiently. She said, “They are people like that. They have various opinions of a person and her situations. One is for her eyes/ears and the others are saved so that they can gossip and make fun later. It doesn’t categorise them as good or bad. Don’t judge them. The best you can do is avoid being besties and gradually move away.”
The incident has changed me – in a small way but it has. I have grown up. I have realised that people won’t treat you nicely because you treat them in that way. There are all sorts of people who you will have to share time with in the journey called Life. It’s on you to choose how to let them affect you.
Inspired by Daily Prompt
A Squeeze of Bliss 
Sometimes it is hard to look away…..but it is usually worth it. Been there myself and got hurt and had to change
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I really know how hard. But do you think it also falls under invading their privacy? Because as much heartbroken I was after the incident, some small part of me also felt guilty.
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Have you let them know you read it? Hard to talk about privacy when they are discussing online, but if it bothers you, then maybe you need to let them know you read it, otherwise you need to move on. That is just my opinion
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Move on it is! I try and avoid confrontations where ever possible. Escapist like that.
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Good choice:)
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This post really speaks to me, because I had an incident as such back in high school. It caused a falling out, and of course I ended up calling my friend on it. I didn’t hear or read anything straight from the source, my instance was that someone close to my family overheard my best friend saying horrible things about me.
The fight lasted a few months, and I tried to get to the bottom of it; and the more I dug the more I realized maybe my source wasn’t reliable. Now, we are friends with again; it started off strained and we will probably never be as close again, but it was a learning experience.
I am the type of person who doesn’t say stuff behind someone’s back unless it is something that I would say to their face, I believe that experience helped me to become that way. So really, I can only be grateful.
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Huge learning lessons! I always knew that there will be people that will talk/gossip behind your back. But never an incident as such had come to my notice. This was the first major one.
You know what we have in common – we are still friends with them 😀 . And I understand when you say, you guys will probably never be that close again. Because in my case, I’ll never be able to trust them again. Ever.
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Thumbs Up
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😀 Thank You Shatab!
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